U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
