Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
