Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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