he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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