Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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