Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
