Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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