Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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