so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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