let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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