I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
