I bet he comes in French.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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