so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
