lets start a swedish sibling band together
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
