I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
