i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
