I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
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Best friends brother. Beat that.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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