....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
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I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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