8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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