SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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