well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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