$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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