well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize