Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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