just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The adults are the big ones right?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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