I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
