is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
