doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
