Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
