I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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