Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
