Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize