he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize