Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
