She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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