Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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