with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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