So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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