I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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