Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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