the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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