Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Your tits are I can't wait for
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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