You're so nebulous sometimes
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
