She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
