we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
