My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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