Duck Duck Cougar?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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