so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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