At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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