yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
