just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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