How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
