I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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