Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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