Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
