I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
