Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
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