Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
