Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
