I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
