Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
