i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
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In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
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your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize