he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
