susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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