he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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