I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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