im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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