time to smoke my breakfast
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
