On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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