Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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