I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
