what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
