If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
