Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
worst night to have a conscience
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
