Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
